It takes an effort to make sure that when it comes to our family, we try to be present in the present. Here are some ways we can turn our distance into closeness.
Sometimes we are all consumed by the many tasks we have to take care of everyday. Work, home, kids, parents, church – there is some much to do and so little time to get it done. We depend heavily on our smart phones to keep us on task and on schedule. Although convenient, it often times takes us away from what we are currently supposed to be focused on. At times, that focus should be solely on building and nurturing the relationship with our family.
Think About It
Don’t take for granted what you are currently experiencing, especially when trying to have family time. We have all heard the phrase “Stop and smell the roses”. There is something unexplainable about simply taking the moment in and processing what is currently happening. Your brain makes notes. Your baby won’t be a baby forever and your 3 year old will one day grow up and not want to sit down and eat ice cream with you anymore. Those mental notes are great to pull back from storage in the tough times. Every phase in life has difficulties and challenges as well as milestones and beautiful moments. Each phase is important.
Do make memories together. That doesn’t mean go overboard with taking pictures. It’s not all about who can post the best pictures on social media. Experience the feelings you are having at the moment. Take mental notes.
Remember but don’t dwell
Don’t dwell on past failures or mistakes. Often times we may feel that as long as I don’t think about the issue then It will go away. This is somewhat true but often times repressing feelings and thoughts can manifest in negative feelings and irritability. Dwelling can also cause physiological issues and possibly death.
Do remember successes and milestones. In order to achieve a positive perspective may cause forgiveness of those who have caused hurt. Forgiveness is not about forgetting the hurt but being able to put hurt in a healthy perspective. This opens the ability to be creative and live life to the fullest.
Don’tDon’t focus so much on the future. While it is great to set goals and have dreams, we often take for granted what we currently have. I’ve said “when the baby turns one, we can do this…” or “when we get a bigger house, we can..”.
Do practice gratitude. Shift focus to nurturing and caring for the things we have, rather than the things we don’t have yet.
Set Your Boundaries
Don’t let too many distractions lead you away at family time. Some people are great at multitasking. However, multitasking usually involves you giving a little effort towards many activities versus great effort for one activity.
Do set boundaries. First, you must understand the goals of your family in order to implement boundaries that will help the family grow. If technology is a barrier then set guidelines that will require technology to be placed to the side for a certain amount of time. Second, stay consistent with boundaries. If you fail in consistency then the old patterns will return and family growth will cease.
The importance of family is always understood but achieving healthy family dynamics can be difficult if you do not have a family vision. Assess your family weaknesses and strengths and take positive steps to strengthen the family.