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Many people question whether they are in the right relationship. Often times it can be difficult to evaluate whether the relationship is worth salvaging or letting go. To determine whether this is a relationship to continue investing time, complete the quiz below.

1. We use sarcasm at times during conflicts?

(1) Not at all
(2) Just a little
(3) Somewhat
(4) Quite a lot
(5) Very much

2. We are living as roommates?

(1) Not at all
(2) Just a little
(3) Somewhat
(4) Quite a lot
(5) Very much

3. During conflicts, we find ourselves communicating in negative ways or shutting down?

(1) Not at all
(2) Just a little
(3) Somewhat
(4) Quite a lot
(5) Very much

4. We are worried about the relationship?

(1) Not at all
(2) Just a little
(3) Somewhat
(4) Quite a lot
(5) Very much

5. We defend our perspectives during conflicts?

(1) Not at all
(2) Just a little
(3) Somewhat
(4) Quite a lot
(5) Very much

6. We may get close to criticizing each other?

(1) Not at all
(2) Just a little
(3) Somewhat
(4) Quite a lot
(5) Very much

7. We attempt to stop negative relationship behaviors but can’t?

(1) Not at all
(2) Just a little
(3) Somewhat
(4) Quite a lot
(5) Very much

8. Intimacy has decreased?

(1) Not at all
(2) Just a little
(3) Somewhat
(4) Quite a lot
(5)Very much

9. We argue about the smallest things?

(1) Not at all
(2) Just a little
(3) Somewhat
(4) Quite a lot
(5) Very much

10. We are close to ending the relationship?

(1) Not at all
(2) Just a little
(3) Somewhat
(4) Quite a lot
(5) Very much

Results

0-18
It is safe to say that you all are clicking as a couple. Relationships go through different stages and at this moment your score has not identified major unhealthy characteristics. It is ok to feel uncomfortable at times in the relationship but happy couples experience just as many unresolved conflicts as unhappy couples. What’s important is how you all communicate and resolve conflicts.

19-36
You all may be clicking “ok” at this moment. The relationship could be entering dangerous dynamics that can cause stress and eventually hopelessness. At this relationship stage, a relationship counselor could be extremely helpful. Relationship skills will help the couple better understand how interactions within the relationship occurs and ways to resolve conflict.

37 & up
Danger…Danger. This score could indicate a major concern for disconnection. Conflicts may be extremely difficult to resolve and unhealthy techniques are utilized that could trigger divorce, cheating, or emotional/physical disconnect.  Relationship counseling is highly recommended to help the couple exit the crisis and enter a place of relationship repair.

Understand that this quiz is a score of the current state of the relationship and can change as life events or major challenges occur. Periodic testing in the future may be required to evaluate relationship stress levels and whether relationship counseling is needed.

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